See Yourself as a Friend

By Yamila García

Many of us get used to not fitting in. To be told that we are odd, different, or that we are going the wrong way. Bearing this in mind, it is often difficult to see value in ourselves. We go through life thinking that everything that makes us be seen that way is something negative and in reality it is not. We are valuable! And in many more ways than perhaps we can see today. We are valuable even if others cannot see it. And we should not need the approval of others to feel that we are useful or talented. But I understand, we live in a society and much of what we do or feel depends on the feedback received in interactions with others. It feels good when external approval is received and it is very easy to give it to others. But what about the approval we give ourselves? What about celebrating ourselves and our abilities? Or congratulating ourselves on the challenges we overcome every day? Because the effort that a neurodivergent person has to make to do what everyone does in a world where everyone seems to have an instruction manual that they didn’t give us, is clearly not the same. When I have a hard time seeing the good in me, I try to do a meditation where I get out of my body and see myself as a friend. What would I say? How does thinking of myself as someone else change the way I see myself? Why is it so difficult to see in oneself something that we see so much more easily in others?

Seeing the good in ourselves is an essential part of developing our abilities and building confidence in our potential. No one is totally good or bad, so if you’re not seeing something good in yourself, you should try again. And yes, sometimes it also helps that they tell us how good they see in us. That is why it is a good exercise to say it to others. I guess everyone, in some way, at some moment, has a hard time recognizing their own self-worth.