By Yamila García
Recently, I have been fortunate to experience the value of the support of others. I want to tell you about 2 particular situations that made me see how necessary it is for others to know about our needs as neurodivergents and also gave me hope about how everything can continue to improve.
The first situation occurred with someone I met a short time ago but who is also neurodivergent. From the moment we met we saw many similarities between us and I quickly felt comfortable with her. Over time we both told each other about our differences and it was clear why we understood each other. At one point, a somewhat overwhelming climate was generated in a place where we were, with a lot of noise and external stimuli. She, without me saying anything, realized that I felt overwhelmed and brought her phone closer to me with a texture strip on the back that she uses for soothing. Not only did this get me through the moment, but it made me feel so good to know that someone sees what’s going on and understands without having to explain. You have no idea how significant that was to me, since I grew up believing that we all perceived things the same way but that I was just weaker than the rest of the world. Seeing that someone was able to recognize an overload of stimuli in me felt like one of those tight hugs from the people you love the most.
The other situation occurred with someone I’ve known for a long time and who, despite having communicated my struggles to him, did not seem to really understand how that felt to me. Since he isn’t neurodivergent, I think it is difficult for him to associate external stimuli that are not harmful to him, with something that does me harm. However, this time, when someone was showing me something on his cell phone with a very high volume, I felt that someone was watching me. At that moment, he asked to lower the volume and I smiled. If you’re wondering why I didn’t ask him to turn the volume down, I wonder the same thing myself. I think maybe it’s the habit of masking and hiding anything so as not to expose my differences. Clearly, I do it without realizing it. Anyway, the point is that this person for the first time saw that I was struggling with something and linked it to the correct stimulus that was causing me to overload.
This was only possible thanks to education. We need to continue educating those close to us so that they can understand us. I don’t think there are people who like to make others feel uncomfortable (well maybe yes, but they won’t be the majority). The more we talk about how we perceive the world, the more situations like this we will have. Those who don’t see the world like us neurodivergents won’t understand if we don’t tell them. I know that sometimes it is not easy to speak, especially for fear of prejudice and for the habit of masking, but it is necessary and it can only benefit us in the long run.