No One’s Path is Linear

A woman holds a walking stick as she prepares to walk through the desert.

By Yamila García

Over time we all learn how to handle some of our difficulties. Sometimes we do it so well that they are no longer so hard. Other times, those struggles continue to accompany us throughout our lives. Many of the difficulties we learn to handle also depend on the situations in which we find ourselves. Therefore, it is common to see them reappear. In specific situations in which various aspects of our lives are not in order, struggles that we thought we had under control reappear and are more difficult for us to handle. It’s not that we relapsed, it’s not that we took a step back or unlearned something. It is simply that we are human and we rely not only on our knowledge to function but also on our state of mind and general well-being. I know that ideal conditions rarely occur, but when I talk about complex situations, I am not referring to simple everyday difficulties, but to those moments where all the problems seem to come together at the same time in our lives. In those moments new needs appear.

These needs that appear are are what we need to do to continue to function and go through the situation we are going through. They are a kind of temporary need, which we do not require all the time but which sometimes, given the difficulty of our current reality, become essential to be able to do what we should or want to do. And when these needs appear, many times they also come with a feeling of guilt. We blame ourselves for needing support we thought we didn’t need anymore, we shame ourselves for having to ask for help or not being able to do something we think we “should be able to.” However, this is part of our learning as well. It’s hard to recognize our limitations, I know, but much harder is to pretend we can do something when we really can’t, at least right now. Our value goes far beyond what we can do today, but we are also much more than the sum of the achievements and defeats achieved so far. We are not a mathematical formula and no one’s path is linear. It shouldn’t be. It wouldn’t make sense if it were. Ask for help when you are struggling. That won’t take away value or merit from your struggle and learning. You will still be as valuable as you are. We all need a push eventually.